Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
