Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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