shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
