There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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