Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Randomize
