even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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