dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
