i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
