i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize