It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
