omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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