I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
