I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
