Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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