I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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