2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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