school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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