Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
