Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
