TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
