He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize