She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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