hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
