She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
