My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
We are all done wearing pants today
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
