Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
