So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
