But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
