Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
