This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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