the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
birth control should be required to get into college
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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