Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
