yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize