What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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