can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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