STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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