I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
