That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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