I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
