question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
i believe in u and ur pee
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
