R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize