Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
