RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
