just come out here and I will go home with you...
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
