Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
