BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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