if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize