I heard we made out
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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