Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
