dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
