just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
