I need help removing her.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
