i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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