I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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