At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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