shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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