Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
