i will never coherently bang her
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
