Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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