He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
