tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
