is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
