Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
