You work out of a Hotel?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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