ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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