there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
