grandma shit on top of the toilet
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
