a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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